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Hurtin' Frank It's Sick, But It's Fun By Bill Mattson If you are a frequent visitor to On The Wire, it's obvious that I have had quite a bit of fun with the humor section. I've had a particularly good time with "photo manipulation", specifically with articles such as The Utlimate PWC Deterrent, The World's Fastest Hobie 16, and The Willcox Jet Trailer. The methods vary, but the theme always seems to revolve around Frank Pineau, my good friend and co-editor, getting hurt. It all started after a real incident when Frank had his thumb severed during a capsize early in the '96 season. Every since, Frank has been the butt of "injury jokes", both here and on the Hobie Mailing List. He's one of those types with a great sense of humor, and probably enjoys this stuff more than anybody. He was not even out of the hospital, when I suggested the physical therapy of hitchiking up and down the Calfornia coast. "When you make it to Santa Cruz, you'll be cured." |
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Last year, Frank did an article on a sailboat show in St. Petersburg, Florida.
Quite recently, he gave me a pile of sailing pictures, one of which was a shot
of him in a lawn chair at the boat show. What was he thinking? Since I'm armed with a scanner and MicroGrafx Picture Publisher, giving me a picture of yourself is sort of like giving me some dynamite. I quickly scanned this photo and got to work on it. While it was a fun experiment, I thought the results were impressive enough to post here. |
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The Frank "Nine Fingers" Pineau Injury Log |
 Remember, Frank: We're laughing with you, not at you. Humor aside, I wish Frank and everyone a safe new season. |
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Thumb Injury - Jun-96 Thumb caught in trapeze blocks on capsize. |
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Scalp Burns - Oct-96 Explosion from AIM Sidewinder Missile |
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Missing Teeth - 550 mph Breakup of Hobie 16. |
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Cut on Arm - Mar-97 Unspecified, non-sailing, Weed wacker incident. |
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Loss of R Leg - Jet Trailer Accident. ACME "Ahab 9000" prosthetic right leg on order. |
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Loss of L Leg - Jet Trailer Accident. ACME "Ahab 9000" prosthetic left leg installed. "Ahab 9000" right and left leg refunds sought. USC Medical Center prothetics on order. |
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Bill Mattson mailto:mattson@earthlink.net Back to Humor |