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Top Ten Differences: Lake vs. Ocean Sailing By Bill Mattson 10. In a lake you might get your pinkie toe nipped by a 8' snapping turtle. In the ocean you can get your lower torso removed by a shark as big as a Lincoln Town Car. 9. In a lake, launching can be hazardous due to snapping turtles. In the ocean, launching can be hazardous due to repeated oncoming 15 ft. walls of water. 8. Lakes can be crowded and you may have a high risk of colliding with another small sailboat. Oceans are "roomy" and you have a low risk of colliding with a Toyota factory frieghter the size of Pittsburg. 7. If you become dismasted on a lake, you have to yell "Hey!" at the folks on shore, and risk being adrift for 10 or 15 minutes. If you become dismasted on the ocean, you can yell "Hey!" at nobody in particular, and risk being adrift for 10 or 15 months. 6. When you are rescued on a lake, and request that your boat be towed in, the usual response is "Sure, no problem." When you are rescued on the ocean, in 30 ft. breaking swells, and request that your boat be towed in, the usual response is "That's funny... It sounded like you just asked me to tow your boat in!". (Laugh along here. Then sit down, hang on, and shut up.) 5. On the ocean, safety gear includes life jackets, wet suits, dry suits, radios, GPS units, whistles, flares, marker dye, food, and water. On a lake, safety gear includes a life jacket and a beer. 4. Improper beaching at a lake can cause you to hit swimming area buoys and get you yelled at by the lifeguard. Improper beaching in the ocean can get put you into a beach area parking lot (upside down) and get you yelled at by the owner of the Mercedes 500 SEL that you landed on. 3. Ocean water is very salty and can kill you. Lake water is quite tasty and can kill you. 2. If you drop your watch in a Lake, you can risk hurting your ears if you try to dive all the way to the bottom to get it. If you drop your watch in the ocean, you risk having your skull and body crushed if you dive all the way to the bottom to get it. 1. If you are becalmed on a lake, you might miss dinner. If you are becalmed on the ocean, you might miss this year's Christmas party. On a serious note, On The Wire urges new ocean sailors to appreciate the inherent risks of open water sailing, and to carry sufficient safety, signaling, and life support supplies. Bill Mattson mailto:mattson@earthlink.net Back to Humor |