Jetski Wednesday
By Jack Bentley.

On a Wednesday afternoon my wife and I were enjoying an excellent day on Lake Lanier in North Georgia. We were just about the only people on the lake. A good, strong wind and wide open water. This was the fifth or sixth time I had taken my Hobie 16 out, and it was when all h**l broke loose.

The wind was strong, but not perfect so my wife was out on the trapeze and I had my feet under the foot straps leaning out. We had gotten into "The Groove" and our windward hull was gracefully rising out of the water when out of nowhere a jetski comes right up to my Cat and almost hits my wife while spraying us with water. What the...(readers choice here. I used them all) was my first reaction. I began looking around and I spotted this jetski on his way back for another pass. I immediately grabbed my wife and pulled her in from the trapeze and grabbed my water hardened, 15 year old, hardwood paddle. If this fella wanted to have fun I was going give it to him.

He saw the paddle and didn't get quite as close on his second, third, and fourth passes. At this point I was wondering who this guy was and what he thought I had done to him to bring this on. I had never seen this guy before in my life. I dedcided to make for the closest marina where I knew the local law likes to hang out. Having my wife on board I didn't feel like risking injury or my boat being sunk a mile from dry land. So, this guy decides to follows us.

At this point I call out to him and ask him what exactly is his problem. He promptly flies the international symbol of love and shouts, "I'm having fun." So this meathead thinks we are in the middle of playtime. At this point I invite him to the closest beach to check the flexibility of his nose. At that moment he turns and takes off back the other way. I figure he realized we were not impressed by his antics and that I wanted to change his physical description.

We had gotten close to the marina so I decided to head on in, take a break, and let the local law know what happened so they could head out and maybe give this guy a warning or something.

We had just about reached the outer edges of the marina when the wind went caput! Great. Then out of nowhere this 20 foot long ski boat comes breezing by us much like the jetski did. After regaining my composure I take a look and guess what, it's the guy from the jetski. He's in a ski boat now circling us. I go balistic and dare this guy to beach with me. I was ready to chew his head off. We were no longer talking about a boat getting banged up. We were talking about the possibility of severe injury or death if this meathead hit us. It was at this point I realized he had no registration on his boat as required by Georgia law. Great. I couldn't even report the boat.

It gets better. He informs me that if I don't apologize to him he is going to pull his .357 and kill me. This guy is a lunatic. And we have no wind. About this time a bass boat of rather large, "fine southern gentlemen", comes cruising by. I flag them down and ask them if they would be gracious enough to return to the marina and get the law and explained what was going on. They responded by pulling a 12 guage pump shotgun and informed our unwelcomed visitor that he had better begin shooting or leave. He left! And our new friends went after him.

My wife and decided to head back to the boat launch and trailer the boat while the meathead was busy and we had some wind. We could report this event later as we were certain that we wouldn't be bothered by the meathead for sometime if ever again. As we rounded a point I spotted our jetskier on a beach. He spotted us and quickly jumped in his boat, his girlfriend on the jetski and they left rather quickly. They went to the boat launch my wife and I used, but they were long gone by the time we arrived.

I share this story to give a little insight into how most jetskiers think. I say most because not all act this way. I have met a few jetskiers who were very nice and helpful at times, but not many. The majority of jetskiers feel they own the waterways and everyone else is intruding on their turf. So keep your eyes open when you are out on the water and don't let your small children play on the beach where these people gather. That's another story. And last but not least, buy a telescoping paddle. The one piece wooden ones don't have enough reach.

Written By: Jack "Flamingo Joe" Bentley jackb29@idt.vivid.net
Member of the HTML Writer's Guild

Flamingo Joe's Sail Shack hopes you have a Hobie Day!

*Final Note: This story is true and not exageratted, so be careful out there. You never know when the next guy passing is a lunatic.

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