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Top Ten Signs that You Can't Wait for Summer By Bill Mattson 10. When pushing a grocery cart down the isle at the supermarket, you tack. 9. When parking your Geo Metro, you run around to the back of the car, pick it up, and face the car into the wind. 8. You spend time sitting on your trampoline and pulling lines.... In your driveway.... In the dark.... In the snow. 7. When practically get someone killed when they cut you off on the freeway and you force them to do a "360". 6. You get kicked out of the carpool for making everyone get into the front seat and lean out over the dashboard when you are driving on a "downwind leg". 5. You wear a wetsuit and lifejacket when using the snowblower. 4. You're coming down the hallway, and encounter your wife coming out of the bathroom, and scare the crap out of her by yelling "STARBOARD!" at the top of your lungs." 3. At work, you hail "Prepare to gybe!" when switching the copier output to the collating position. 2. You require everyone to ask "Permission to come aboard, sir?" when entering your cubicle. 1. You hit "On The Wire" more than 20 times a day. Bill Mattson mailto:mattson@earthlink.net Back to Humor |