I have been watching this forum for a while and noticed there has never been a topic on sailing with your spouse. Does anyone here exclusively sail with their spouse or even go racing with their spouse? Any good arguments?
I have to watch what I say here because my wife also reads these forums (love 'ya, baby!!), but my wife is a chicken!! She is my helmsman on our new to us Capricorn F18. In her position, she has an immense amount of power to determine how fast we go. I really had to let go of my need to control by turning that duty off to her. Since crewing on the F-18 is more physically demanding, we decided that it is best for me to crew and her to steer.
The problem is that when the wind begins to blow over 10 kts and we start to fly a hull, she steers up wind. It drives me CRAZY!!! We had a H-16 for a few years that very rarely flew a hull. With the F-18, it can fly a hull very easily. She is getting better in low winds to let the hull fly but when the wind picks up, the moment the hull raises, she steers upwind. This has been the source of many "lively" discussions while sailing!!
We only pitched once by accident on the H-16 and tipped one other time intentionally, so she can't say that she has spent a huge amount of time in the water as a result of hull flying. She is just afraid. I tell her that its not like I want the boat to go over, so just let me fly and if anything happens, we will deal with it. But because of her role on the boat, she determines our speed and I really have no say in the matter. Most frustrating!!
Any ideas on getting her past this obstacle? I would like to race sometime, but I don't know if my ego could handle being the last boat over the finish line every time.
Thanks!
